Slowing Down for Love & Business
An occasional commentary on work life integration
by Jessica DeGroot, Founder and President
The other weekend I faced a choice – invest in the people I care about at home or get a jump on a big project for work.
I was already tired from a week of travel. On Saturday I spent the day doing my half of the household tasks — Jeff does the cooking in our house and I do the cleaning — so I listened to music and enjoyed the mindless (and to me, satisfying) process of tidying up.
However, when I woke up on Sunday, I found myself thinking about work again. I knew I had a big task to complete early in the week, but less time to work on it because of a workshop I was conducting. So I asked myself the following questions:
Did I really need to work over the weekend? Sometimes there is just too much work for one week and getting some of it done over the weekend is the best option.
Was immediately jumping into the next big project the best use of my time? Yes, my upcoming week looked a little challenging, but if I carefully limited my weekend work to a couple of hours of strategic thinking, then maybe I could start the work week with fresh ideas for how to get the big task done in less time.
Was working over the weekends becoming a pattern for me, and if so, why? Was my weekend work a sign that our work team had taken on too much work? If you assign a group of 10 people work that actual requires 15 people to complete by the allotted deadline, they will end up “flexing” work into the evenings and weekends just to try to get it all done. Luckily this didn’t seem to be the case…
The decision I made: I would spend a couple of hours thinking strategically about next week’s work and then put work away and enjoy some much needed time with my partner.
Once again I was reinforcing the belief that a happy home life – where both parents are satisfied with their approach to work and family – includes setting appropriate limits around work; not just because it helps reduce the stress families can experience at home, but also because relationships benefit from an investment in time.
Wanting to hear more about work flex and love? In one of the Valentines Day editions of our Thursday with ThirdPath webinar, Dr. B. Hibbs and Dr. Stephanie Sasso discussed why flex is good for relationships — and more specifically why flex is good for sex.
It turns out taking time to develop ourselves as individuals while also taking time to invest in our relationships with our spouses/partners is one of the most important ingredients for keeping the flames of passion going. It also helps to have time and energy to play and explore new things, or as discussed in the webinar, “Love needs both closeness & distance – intimacy grows through familiarity, in contrast, eroticism is numbed by repetition.”
So take a listen by clicking the Sound Cloud link, be inspired, and then go invest some time in the one you love…
To read more about making time with your partner, check out: Try to See it My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage by B.Hibbs and Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel