"We felt like there were only two options, one of us dropping out of work, or using full time child care. Then the staff at ThirdPath showed us how we could both adjust our work hours, allowing us to care for our child while only using part time childcare. I finally felt like I had an answer." -- Prospective father

Consistently we are learning that one of the most far reaching 21st century work-family solutions includes supporting both men and women to find ways to redesign their work so that they can earn a living while staying actively engaged in the care of their children. We call this new work-family model Shared Care. Over the years, an important part of ThirdPath's work has been to document how parents have made this new Shared Care solution a reality in their lives, such as the ones described below.

Kathleen A hospital billing clerk, she negotiated working 4 days a week to help care for her nephew. The child's father (a flight dispatcher) and grandmother (sales clerk) also worked four days a week to care for the new baby

James A principal in a large consulting firm, he negotiated right from the start to not work Fridays so that he could actively participate in the care of his children. His wife, a pediatrician, shares in the children's care, and works Thursdays through Saturdays.

Rachel A nurse and single parent, she moved to a new city to build a community of support and share a home with a close friend, and changed jobs to become a conference organizer. Rachel now works part time 9 months of the year, and then full time during conference season.

Sam & Holly Sam a bartender, Holly a baker, were married for nine years and are now divorced. They continue to share in the care of their children by taking turns caring for them before and after school, on school closings and holidays, and during the summer.

Whether two-parent households, single-parents households, or households where parents live apart, we are developing a vision of what real change would mean for everyone, no matter where they live, how much money they earn, or the type of job and responsibilities they hold at work.

Clearly, to make these new solutions an option for everyone, we know both organizational and public policy change will be required. However, we strongly believe that one of the best ways to build these 21st century solutions is to start learning from the pioneering individuals who are making these changes a reality today.

The Principles of Shared Care

• Redesign work around the needs of family.

• Adjust solutions as the needs of their children change.

• Maximize the use of parental care and extended family.

• Create a shared involvement of caring for children and earning income.

Many options exist around how to care well for children, and there is a good chance that you have a lot more options than you may think. Most importantly, what we have learned from our work with parents is one simple truth: the more intentional you are about the choices you make, the more satisfied you will be with the results.

To learn more about all the different work/family options, including Shared Care, go to the Caring for Children section of this website.

To learn more about Shared Care in particular, we suggest starting by Defining Your Care Goals or reading a few of our Shared Care Stories.

And for those who want to learn more about the unique benefits to couples who choose to Share Care, read on.

Shared Care - building a true partnership in the care of children
First, by taking turns and offering each other a break from the tough - though very rewarding job - of caring for children, you and your partner can come back to the "job" of caring for your child(ren) replenished.

Second, when you are taking turns at the same job - parenting your child(ren) - you will both better appreciate that job's pleasures and challenges, and therefore (hopefully!) be more empathetic with each other regarding these experiences.

Third, many couples feel that sharing the various aspects of parenting improves their communication and brings them closer as a couple. When both parents participate in domestic responsibilities and work responsibilities, the word "partner" takes on a different meaning.

Another benefit of Shared Care is that it also enables you and your partner to share the experiences of your work lives: working with colleagues and bosses, and handling work-related satisfactions and stresses. In addition to further increasing your empathy for and understanding of each other, Shared Care enables each of you to become an excellent resource for your partner as you plan and strategize your next steps at work.

Lastly, Shared Care ensures that at least two adults will deeply know and understand your child(ren). You and your partner will each develop unique ways to play with, care for, and interact with your child(ren). Besides this being healthy and stimulating for your child(ren), you and your partner will learn from each other's successes and mistakes. Together you will develop a larger, more flexible set of tools for what pleases, interests, and works smoothly with your child(ren).

But don't just take our word for it; here's what one of the fathers who participated in one of our Shared Care coaching calls had to say:

"I love the time I spend with my daughter now. But that's not all. I also like knowing that what I am doing today is laying the groundwork for tomorrow and for the rest of our lives together. Doing Shared Care has helped my wife and me because we understand each other better and appreciate each other more. I certainly thought she was doing a great job when I was working full-time - but now that I am working less and doing half the care we have this tremendous depth to our relationship because we are both able to do this extremely important thing. She really has confidence in me, and I have the utmost confidence in her, as well as an awareness and appreciation of everything that goes into being a parent.

"It's hard to sum up because it's a way of life. We are doing this not only because it is best for the baby, or best for us, but because it is best for everybody. To someone on the outside, it may seem that the logistics that go into making a Shared Care family work seem complicated, but the logistics are only a small part."

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