 Ned
and Grace - Corporate manager and
part-time writer use limited outside care for their two sons.
Family Story:
When Ned and Grace had their first child nine
years ago, she was still in graduate school and he was working full
time as a consultant. Grace’s Ph.D. work was the more flexible
so she cared for the newborn while writing her dissertation. Upon
completion of her degree, Grace accepted a well-paying corporate position,
and the young family moved to a different region for her new job.
The couple consciously chose Grace’s career as primary, acknowledging
that prioritizing her career would bring greater financially stability
to the family.
For the first few years, their son was cared
for by a nanny while both parents worked full-time. Grace had risen
to become a senior executive at a large pharmaceutical company,
and Ned was teaching high school. Eventually the couple felt conflicted
enough about having someone else caring for their child that they
decided to make a change and have one parent at home. The obvious
choice seemed to be for Ned to leave his job, as Grace’s salary
far exceeded what he could ever expect to make as a teacher.
Ned was exclusively a stay-at-home dad for
a few years. As their child transitioned from being a toddler to
a pre-schooler, Ned began to carve out time for an old passion:
writing. It was challenging to create time for writing while juggling
the responsibilities of homemaker and parenting, but eventually
he began to establish a routine. In particular, when their son was
old enough for school, Ned found he now had more time available
on a regular basis, time that he could now more frequently use for
writing.
When their son was 7, Ned and Grace had a
second baby boy. This time, after Grace took her maternity leave,
the couple decided to use the daycare center at Grace’s worksite
in order for Ned to have mornings free of childcare responsibilities.
This arrangement lasted for two years until Grace took a new job
at a company that did not provide on-site childcare; at this point
Ned and Grace found a nearby family daycare to help with the care
of their youngest son.
Grace is often home by 6 or 7 PM, and is
always involved in bath time and bedtime. Since the couple currently
lives far from their extended family, Ned has worked to build substantial
relationships with other parents and families in the neighborhood.
He sometimes substitute teaches at his older son’s school,
further solidifying his connections to the community. The family
has a significant group of friends, and is very involved in many
community activities.
Ned and Grace have worked hard to continually
shape a work/family solution that allows Ned plenty of time to stay
involved in the daily care of their children while also allowing
him regular time to work. Currently their oldest child is either
in school or summer camp until 3 p.m. every weekday, and the younger
child is either in pre-school or with a baby-sitter until 1 p.m.
each day.
The solution they have designed has allowed
Ned to make time for a significant passion – writing - while
also doing what he loves: being with his children, creating a home
for his family, and supporting his wife in her career. Grace knows
that her children are being well cared for by their father, and
she is able to provide for the family in a way that allows them
to live comfortably while pursuing her career with great enthusiasm.
The couple has also found over time that he is the more kid-focused
parent, while she is the more career-oriented one. Their work-family
solution has allowed them to make and support the life choices each
parent desires.
Adapting to the Changing Needs of Family
When their first child was born, Grace cared
exclusively for the baby, while Ned worked full time and Grace completed
her Ph.D. After a couple of years of full-time care, Ned quit his
job to be with their child and to run the home. The couple had a second
child when their first child was old enough to go to school. This
time, the family opted to use part-time childcare from the very start,
keeping the infant in daycare until at least 1 PM every day. This
allowed Ned regular time to work while also staying deeply engaged
in the care of their children.
Redesigning Work
Parent I: As a graduate student, Grace flexed
her work around the needs of her newborn. Currently Grace works as
a corporate executive. Due to her husband’s flexibility and the
part-time care the family has hired, she has been able to pursue her
career without redesigning her work.
Parent II: Ned transitioned from being a
full-time employee to being a full-time stay-at-home dad. Eventually
he used a combination of school, daycare and outside help to make
time for his writing. Although it is sometimes a struggle, Ned writes
on a part-time basis while juggling his household and childcare
responsibilities.
To learn more about other
work-family models, click here.
To learn more about Shared
Care, click here.
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